Tragicomical Tuesday - Bodoh nye aku!!!

In The Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

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Hari ni all feeling got mixed up.

Sad, anger, happy, confused, hatred and all sorts of feeling. I'll talk about it one by one.

Firstly today I'm stuck-ed in a morning jammmmmmed. Marah betul. Yelah can u imagine bawak manual with paut steering. Oh lupa nak mention, my left wrist sakit-sakit sejak 2 bulan ni. Sendi dia sakit and i can't lift heavy object with my left hand. So itu menambahkan faktor kelambatan aku sampai ke kelas pagi ni. Nasib baik Dr. tak marah. Pheww.

Pastu after class Mai bagitahu pulak yang yesterday Sekinchan passed away! Oh man! How can it be true? Selama ni dia sihat je. All of a sudden he died? Mai dengan Sheda siap story lagi saat-saat nazak Sekinchan; he sounded like a crying baby. Sheda cakap sedih sangat and they cried. And I was not there!! Kesian nye. But frankly speaking I've had enough of that moment. Tak sanggup lagi rasanya nak saksikan saat sakaratulmaut waima terhadap seekor hamba Allah ini. Oh ye, ini gambar kenangan Sekinchan yang sempat aku ambil last week.


And petang tadi keluar jumpa someone for the first time. Not exactly happy, but lebih kepada perasaan confused I guess. I'm confused of what I'm doing. Kenapa kenapa kenapa la aku jadi keluar hari ni. I shouldn't go. Maybe I should just say NO. Entah lah. Orang cakap bagi peluang untuk sekeping hati ini mengenali sekeping hati yang lain. But I just don't know. I don't feel like going out, tapi entah lah atlast keluar juga. And I don't feel right at all. Ok, aku anggap apa yang berlaku tadi cumalah sesi perkenalan dan persahabatan, nothing more than that.

"Umur engko tu dah 22 tahun, cari lah someone."

Macam tu lah antara pesan-pesan dan kata-kata poeple around me baik classmate, kawan biasa hatta kawan baik sendiri. Nasib mak tak penah cakap apa-apa; mak faham anak dia ni macam mana.

Entah la guys, I may have someone that I like. But I don't know whether he feels the same way or not.

Finding someone is not like finding a heels to match with your baju raya tahu. Sedangkan aku cari heels CR2 merah tu pun takes up to 5 days baru beli, inikan pula finding someone to share my life with.

Bukan lah aku demand MR. RIGHT yang purrrfect and all cuz I know I'm not perfect at all; aku selekeh tak gojes, tak slim, tak putih mulus, tak ayu, tak tak tak. No, bukan tak bersyukur, I'm grateful for who I am now. Tapi untuk menjawab pertanyaan kawan-kawan aku tadi tu cukup berat la. Yelah jodoh pertemuan ajal maut semua tu beyond our reach kan. All I can do is berdoa.

Ya Allah, aku sendiri tak faham dengan sekeping hati ku ini. KAU beri lah petujuk pada aku Ya Allah. Dan KAU temukanlah aku dengan insan yang boleh membimbing diri ini.

Adoi meleret-leret betul entry kali ni. Bahana emo and tinggal sorang-sorang la ni. No one to rave and rant at, belog lah jadi mangsa.

Ok lastly, harini birthday kakak gua bhai. Sila bergembira sebentar selepas ber-emo kat atas tadi. Happy birthday Kak Law. May u have a blissful life through and through. Semoga kau, hubby and 4 askar tu sihat and happy always. And don't forget, I'm waiting for Puteri Hang Li Po pulaaa :)


*pengsan keletihan dari segi emosi*