If u just realize….

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

Setelah ditegur oleh seorang sahabat siang tadi baru lah aku realize something about me.

It's not that I didn't realize it earlier.

I do, but let's just say yang aku ni ignorant.

Yes, I am ignorant, I admit that.

The thing is, we tend to deny something unpleasant, something that we don't like.

For instance, kalau kita selalu selisih faham with someone, we tend to think like "ah takpe lah, nak buat macam mana dah dia memang macam tu." Walhal kita boleh solve it elok-elok, or kita la punca nya. Senang kata macam tu la, aku nak explain pun tak reti.

Ok back to the story, bila Pami cakap yang dia notice yg I have a few friends problem… memang perghhh lah, right on my face.

Rasa terpukul. Rasa macam I'm stripped-off my cover, rasa exposed. Rasa sangat-sangat.

Sebab selama ni I tried to deny it, aku telan semua, aku pendam, aku simpan everything, and never talks about it.

And when he says it right in front of me… that was when the truth unravels itself.

That's the moment when I'm forced to see with my open eyes and open heart.

Memang la lepas tu aku rasa like something is bugging me off, rasa serabut sangat…

But it all worth it.

Now I feel like I have to do something.

Maybe solve my trust issue (which I have no intention of discussing it right now, maybe I'll do so in some other entry)

But frankly speaking, I have no idea what should I do.

Perhaps I should have a counsel session with him huh?

Whatever it is, I'm kinda grateful for what happen today.